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Dating Fundamentals
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© 2002
Harlan L. Jacobsen
- Attitude is big part of the "you" package
- Change here is most important and costs nothing
- Your new attitude will make the difference.
Sitting home watching television, one thing is for sure, you crave and
need companionship
- and you should have discovered by now that you're certainly
not going to meet Mr. or Ms. wonderful sitting home watching TV.
Unless you fall in love with the mailman,
odds are Mr. Right or Ms. Terrific are not going to come knocking
on your door.
It is going to take a lot of effort on your part, a lot of personal discipline
to get dressed up and go out when it would be much easier to take a hot
shower and go to bed.
- True you have to be alone for awhile to get up enough
"tired of being alone" motivation
to get yourself going.
- But now that you have made up your mind to try it again let's see
what we can do about changing your attitude.
- Your attitude will make the difference
between being bitter about results, or with the right attitude life
can be pretty good if you're still smarting from the divorce or your
last big hurt, read some good books
on a positive mental attitude.
Remember, everybody has scars from emotional hurts, just as everybody
has problems and troubles.
- If you could see other peoples' problems I am sure you would usually
wish you had yours back.
With your new positive mental attitude,
you will be looking for the good in the people you meet
and confident in expecting to find it is indeed a great world.
Eliminate "can't" from your
vocabulary and take a good wack at "Impossible"
and "I don't want to."
If you think it is impossible to find an exciting person to spend the
evening or a lifetime with, well then it probably is.
- A negative attitude about single life is something you have to fight
against.
- You need to gain a confidence that you are a great person in a great
world and you are out to meet a great companion.
- Everything else is going to take a back seat in priority until you
firmly develop this positive outlook.
You are a product - a singles product - if you want to attract the right
person then you have got to make yourself the right person for someone
else.
- Part of being that right person is as we said, your
attitude.
- If you're still sour grapes over your divorce, or whatever, you are
probably not going to be the right person for anyone.
- Work on being a positive personality.
Okay, lets say we now have your mental attitude straightened out and we
now need to polish up and package the product (you). Basically we all
have about the same materials to work with, the difference is how we shape
it up and package it.
In short our image ...
All the world is a stage and are you showing the image that you really
want to show? Sort of step out of your body and stand back and take a
good look at yourself.
- Are you put together and packaged to be attractive, a wanted commodity
by the opposite sex?
- Re: Clothes. Select clothes
that match your figure and colors that complement your personality.
Avoid anything far out until you really know where you are at. No extremes,
but do buy clothes that are fashionable.
- Re: Hair. If you or a friend
can do your hair in in a professional manner fine. Otherwise this is
one area your probably g oing to have to continually spend a few bucks
weekly for professional beauty parlor assistance.
For men and women both, there is that basic fundamental that should not
be overlooked. A good daily shower plus one before going out. Underarm
deodorant along with brushing the ivories are all fundamentals that shouldn't
be overlooked.
Basically it is - show the other person you care enough about your appearance
and make it a habit you do automatically even when you are relaxing over
a weekend.
Ladies, when you go the the powder room check appearance out and don't
come out until you have complete and total confidence that everything
is just right.
- Men and women both - don't comb your hair etc. out in public.
- Primp in privacy, in the powder room etc.
You will soon find what clothing or appearances, hair style etc. work
the best for you. I have even heard of women bringing a change of clothing,
wig, etc. along to a dance and if something isn't working or just not
right, change.
- Now that might seem a little extreme to you but it does illustrate
that packaging does and can make a difference.
- But most of all package yourself so you have complete confidence you
can successfully compete with all those other packages.
Your attitude and self confidence
is going to have as much to do with your success and popularity as anything
else and it doesn't cost you a nickel.
If you have some physical impairment remember you aren't competing on
a purely physical basis. Intellectually you can compete 100% so don't
let physical impairment slow you down.
Now that you have confidence you have the right attitude and right
packaging, you haven't skipped any fundamentals, then you are ready to
move into a new game. It's called get out and
see and be seen as often as possible, much as possible.
Soon great things will happen!
Attitude "Is A Big Part
Of
Dating Success"
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