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into dating again as a mature adult.
This is not reruns, this time it is entirely different.
What worked last time just will not work this time.
You are just divorced or in the "single again" classification,
so what do you do now?
You are not alone.
About 40 percent of the adult singles in the U.S. are getting along
without a mate temporarily, and millions are getting married annually.
First of all.....
you must convince yourself that......
it was not the end of the world for you,.....
but the opening up of a whole new wonderful world.
You will undoubtedly....... have to change some of your
attitudes and hang-ups.... and learn to play the all-new-to-you
singles game. You must think "I can."
You must change and think positively.
Being single is fun, and there is someone just
for you.
Love is as essential to your well-being
as food is to your physical health.
So you will love again.
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DATE FOR PRACTICE
Let's talk about that first date.
(We'll discuss how to get dates coming your way later.)
For now we will assume you may have some new opportunities pop up when everyone
knows you are single again.
For the ladies, in starting dating again, your first
"yes" is the hardest.
Unless the man is absolutely impossible, do go out with him.
(practice)
Do not make too big a thing of your first
date.
- (Do not get apprehensive and allow yourself to think up some
reason for cancelling the date either.)
- Do not mistake gratitude for love.
The first man or woman you date...... is not your last chance....
for marriage. In each part of the series, we'll give you new ideas
and methods of meeting and dating many, many singles, so why
should you see any necessity in running off with the first one?
You can change from a single with no suitors to one with
a "which suitor to choose" problem.
First thing you need to do........
you must learn to enjoy being single because
it may be over before you know it.
Enjoy your new-found freedom and
look it right in the eye. It is pretty heady stuff.
To change your attitudes and "luck,"........
remember and consider the following as part of your
new system:
1. You are desirable. A person did love
you, desire you and did marry you. If you can attract one, you
can attract others.
2. You are courageous. You hold your
head high, and you don't complain.
3. You are comfortable. You can
provide for yourself and look after your needs.
4. You are appealing. You are
alone. (Men consider a loner much more helpless and sympathetic and they
enjoy it. Women consider single men exciting.)
5. You are mysterious. A woman
may have a Mrs. in front of her name, but no rings.
There is much speculation.
Go about life with a quiet smile and your lips sealed.
Your desirability grows.
6. You present an attractive package.
- You learn to become and to think attractive.
- You learn to think right and work the system.
- Remember, to win the prizes, you have to
play the game.
- Learn to express yourself as an individual.
Make you own life so that if the right person comes along,
they won't feel they are saving you. Instead they will feel you
are doing them a favor by sharing your life with them.
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USING SINGLES GROUPS
Let us change the subject slightly for a moment here and discuss where
singles clubs can fit into your overall picture.
First of all, clubs and organized groups, provide a place and an opportunity
to meet other single people.
- The group activities can be fun, especially if the single-againer
can be realistic in his or her expectations.
- They can provide a way of getting back into the swing of things
gradually and making new friends and getting dates.
- Attending singles clubs are often also less expensive than
most methods.
Furthermore, group activities may provide a much-needed outlet for the
single parent who feels trapped at home with children and limited
resources.
It is a social outlet
where single people are well accepted, as opposed to married groups
where a single is suspect.
The club activity may be an easier initial social outlet for some. It
is far less personal than dating and requires much less of a
commitment.
- Some newly sIngled may find going to a meeting or party less
difficult than dating, It can be comforting to realize
that others have some of the same problems and feelings.
- Many single adults use clubs for a time to find themselves dates.
- Then, as they do more dating, they may drop away from the clubs.
Other divorced and widowed people believe that it is a good idea
to continue some group social contacts as long as one is still single.
This is recommended as a
better long-range system.
The composItion and nature of these groups change with time, and
there are constantly new people to meet.
Staying with at least one group helps to keep one from being overly
dependent on dating and is an insurance of some social outlets in the
event that dates become hard to get.
In other words, don't
put all your eggs in one basket.
Reserve some time weekly to attend social functions and continue
to meet and get acquainted with new single people - even if you
are going steady.
Get active in the singles groups, it gives
you an excuse for telephoning and making contact with other
singles.
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Read Part
2, Adult Dating Tips and Advice
Top of Page || Dating Again 101 Index
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Dating Again
101 
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Dating Again - How To Get Started Part 1