1) Negative images -- This is not the place to store that shoebox with old photos of your exes, or any other negative images from bad weather to bad times.

2) Anything that encourages distance -- Put the cactus and your ceramic porcupine collection somewhere else. They're not helping.

3) Anything with a chill factor -- If it's cold, it's bad news. Move the refrigerator and the poster of the polar bear unless you want your relationship to cool too.

4) Singles only -- Avoid photos of yourself alone here, your one-slice toaster and that picture of you as the lone, uncoupled bridesmaid at your cousin Bertha's wedding. Single-girl (or single boy) reminders have got to go.

5) Games -- If you want to avoid games in your relationship, you've got to avoid them here.

6) Distractions - Something coming between you and your one-and-only? Maybe it's the big screen TV or your decoupage supplies. Put 'em somewhere else.

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Dating Again Newsletter #49, 2/20/06


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Business Cards. Your Most Important Dating Tool, Do Em Yourself

** Here is a sample of what your "Do It Yourself Dating Business Cards" will look like: http://www.datingagain101.com/datingbusinesscards.htm

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Since you get this newsletter we assume you have some connection with a pc, but if not up to speed get a friend or relative (or one of your kids) to whip these out for you. These are full color (we assume you have a color printer) and take a little time here to do some great cards, Be sure and put your picture on the card so they can learn to associate the name with the face.
This is how you get on many peoples "singles friend" awareness list. As they find it easy to get to know you. When they can remember you by name next time they see you, you are half way there.

When you meet someone and have a little conversation for example and you are leaving, hand them your card and say maybe we can talk some more, give me a ring or e-mail. Also be sure you have a web site, (read previous newsletters on its importance) and list your web site page on your card.

Also your e-mail address and even an IM address as well as your phone number and cell number etc. In short, be easy to contact.

Now all about making personalized business cards.

Download a program called Visual Business cards http://www.rkssoftware.com/visualbusinesscards/overview.html

What you can do right now is download the 30 day FREE version of the software.......

If you like it and want to continue to use it will have to pay for the real version if you want to keep using it but to test to see how it works....you can do it for free right now.

Once you download the software:

Step One: I go to any office supply store and buy Avery Glossy Clean Edge Business cards (inkjet #8879)

Step Two: Once software is downloaded, its going to ask you to start new card or start with blank card....choose "blank card"

Step Three: It's going to ask you what type of business card...choose "normal" and then go to Avery Business Card #8879 Clean Edge Ink Jet

Step Four: A big white square space resembling a business card is going to pop up. If you look on your right side of the card, you will see tools needed to create the card. Normally start with the 10th symbol down which will place the photos on your card you just place up to four photos. The images will auto resize themselves so you don't have to worry about sizing issues

Step Five: Now once you finish adding the photos, go back to the tool bar and go down to the third symbol ( which has a T on it) and just place some basic information and your phone number. 

Print it all out ...and there you have it. Takes about 30 minutes when you first try it...but its VERY easy after that.

Take my word for it, these cards will get you more things going then just about anything else you can do. To get out in the dating world and not have a card to give out when you have opportunity to let some one know you are interested is a severe handicap.

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Dating Again Newsletter #48, 1/10/06

This Dating Again 101 Newsletter is sent only to those who subscribe. To subscribe or unsubscribe please see below.

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Harlan has been busy researching and writing on (a newspaper and a web site) on the "finding of a cure" for his own and 20 Million others that have Diabetes, that leads to degeneration, disability and death. If you have or know of someone who has Diabetes check out his web site in construction at http://www.diabetescure101.com

Lisa Daily has volunteered to fill in on writing this months Dating Again newsletter.

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January is National Breakup Month
By Lisa Daily

The holidays are over and just when you thought it was safe to put down the eggnog, you might find yourself smack in the middle of one of those "We Have To Talk" talks.

While November and December are generally unlikely months for breakups (who wants to be the jerk who ruined Thanksgiving?), January is usually the biggest month of all.

Why? For some, it feels like the first chance to make a clean break after the holidays (and the last chance before Valentine's Day rolls around.) And many men say they just don't want to be on the hook for the required Valentine's Day gift/flower arrangement/romantic dinner for a girl they're not really that crazy about.

For others, the breakup is part of the New Year's resolution value package that includes getting a better job, losing the love handles, and embarking on a mission to find true love.

How do you know if your sweetie is about to lower the boom? Check below for some of the warning signs your relationship might be over soon.

6 Signs You Might Be Heading for a Breakup:

1. She's no longer interested in sex, or worse, she's recently learned some new tricks
A dramatic change in sexual behavior can mean two things: Either your sweetie is trying to avoid any situation where she might have to express emotion or attachment to you, or she's getting it somewhere else. Old dogs only learn new tricks if someone is teaching them.

2. This isn't about Toilet Paper! This is about Life!
If he's picking silly fights, or there's an unusual increase in emotional distance, you've got bad news. If your guy or girl is picking stupid fights all the time, they may be trying to get you to make the first move.

3. He says, "I need some space" or "I think we should see other people."
By telling you he wants to see other people, he's not technically breaking up with you (so no big crying scene to endure) but he's given himself a way out. Of course, the second he gets a little distance, he's going to make a run for it.

4. She gives you that little pat on the back.
Watch out for this one. A person who gives you a hug while patting you on the back is indicating that they are uncomfortable with what they're doing. The bigger the pat, the more discomfort they feel. Could be the kiss in front of Aunt Mildred. Could be garlic breath. Could be you.

5. She buys a pre-paid cell phone or pager.
This is a really bad sign. Private investigators everywhere will tell you the pager purchase is a sign of impending heartbreak. Sure, it could be for work, but more likely, she's using it to get a head start on her post-you life.

6. He used to be a blue jeans kind of guy, and suddenly he's obsessed with Armani.
A person who is about to leave (or is cheating) will take greater care with his or appearance - updating his wardrobe, losing weight, working out and even changing cologne.

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Dating Again Newsletter #47, 12/07/05

Harlan Jacobsen, publisher has asked guest author, Lisa Daily, to fill in for him this month.

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Lisa Daily, Dream Girl and author of Stop Getting Dumped!
All you need to know to make men fall madly in love with you and marry 'The One' in 3 years or less.
"This chick really knows what she's talking about!"
--Howard Stern
As seen in/on Cosmopolitan, Mens Health and HITCH: On THe Set Available at http://www.stopgettingdumped.com and bookstores everywhere

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Holi-dating:
A Thanksgiving to New Years' Dating Survival Guide

By Lisa Daily

Stuck in the Snow

Yes, it's that time of year again. Thanksgiving kicks off the annual relationship freeze which lasts through the New Year. Much like government wage freezes that leave DMV workers and other civil servants with salaries stuck in 1973, the annual dating freeze cements you for three months in whatever relationship situation you happen to be in on November 15. Singles and couples everywhere can feel mid-November bearing down on them like tax day.

What does it mean? Well, if you're single and dateless, it means you're probably going it alone for the next few months. Sure, you'll have to endure 7 or 8 hours of pitying glances and "So, are you seeing anyone?" at the holiday gathering, but at least it's less agonizing than your Aunt Leona grilling you in front of grandpa about your sex life, or the new hottie you met on the Internet last week.

And if you're in a less-than-fab relationship, well, you're pretty much stuck until the holidays are over. There will be office parties and family gatherings to attend, and somehow your plans will propel you frenetically through the season like a goldfish down the toilet bowl. If you start to feel like you're not going to be able to go the distance, reality will whack you on the head and you'll realize you don't really want to be known as the heartless jerk who ruined Christmas. Just the image of your current steady blubbering into the yams is enough to make anybody hunker down and endure a few more weeks as a couple (however unpleasant they might be.) Fortunately, before you know it, the whirlwind will die down and you'll be whooshed smack-dab into the middle of January.

If it's the thought that counts, what the hell were you thinking?

Assuming you're in a relationship, even a new one, some sort of gift exchange is generally expected. With a budding romance, however, things are a bit more complicated, especially for women.

Men are generally terrified of holiday-induced coupledom and freak out at any sign the woman is trying to use the holiday freeze as a chance to create permanent status. So, how do you pick a gift that says "I like you and I'm thoughtful" without sending the message "I know we just met last week, but I've already started sneaking tampons into your medicine cabinet"? The key here is to give your guy a gift that would be suitable to give your boss. Think music, (no John Tesh, please,) sports stuff, (NOT his-and-her memberships to a gym,) or a new tie. Whatever you do, don't give your guy part one of a set of ANYTHING. Otherwise, you might not be around to see his birthday/your two-month anniversary/groundhog day. Worse still, you might wind up stuck with parts 2-7 of whatever you had in mind for your sadly transparent romantic installment plan.

Say you're in a long-term relationship, and you're just biding your time until January. Well, there's nothing that says, "I can't wait to dump you" like a crappy or impersonal gift. Women who are in it 'till January will generally try to fake it and will give a gift that is not overly personal, but also not a clear indication of relationship doom. Men, however, frequently become affected by short-timer's disease and end up giving reasonably-priced, gift-wrapped-in-the-shopping-bag, white-elephant-esque gifts that have been purchased at either the electronics store, or worse, the Gas-N-Go three blocks from your apartment.

A terrible gift has long been a sign of impending breakup. I've heard dozens of stories of three and four year relationships that ended bluntly following a bizarrely bad gift exchange. It wasn't the gift that ended the relationship, it was merely a sign of things to come.

Of course, a bad gift doesn't always have to mean your paramour is planning to dump you like last week's spaghetti once January hits. It could just mean that your sweetie is madly in love with you, but has really horrific taste -- and you can look forward to many, many years of individually-wrapped-in-cellophane roses, radio-controlled cars, sausage-of-the-month clubs and green plastic phones.

Hang in there kids, the thaw is coming soon.

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You have permission to publish "Holidating" electronically or in print, free of charge, as long as the piece is unedited and the bylines and website at the end of the article are included.
(C) Copyright 2003-2006, by Lisa Daily. All rights reserved.

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Lisa Daily is the author of Stop Getting Dumped! All you need to know to make men fall madly in love with you and marry "The One" in 3 years or less. At bookstores everywhere.
As seen in/on Cosmopolitan, The Washington Post and Hitch: On the Set Get our FREE Dating Tips newsletter - chock-full of man-snagging techniques, at http://www.stopgettingdumped.com

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Dating Again Newsletter #46, 11/15/05

This newsletter is sent only to those who subscribe. To subscribe or unsubscribe see below.

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Here is our November Newsletter about encouraging you to do your own website. Easy and fun to do, you will find it a big aid to successful dating that works.

Have always wanted to find the time to explain how to do a personal webpage but never get the time so will just tell you how to figure it out on your own.

Now, about every six months I bring this up because I think you are really missing the boat if you do not do it.

You have many new ways of meeting people and with a web site it makes it easy for them to get acquainted about you with little effort on your part.

The statistical odds we usually bring up are that you have to meet about 500 people to find one that is a good match for you.

Obviously this is going to take some time but you can essentially automate about 2/3 of this if you have a web site of your own all about you.

If you have a personal ad in a publication or on some web dating site you tell them a little about you. A web page tells all about you. The personal ad can even refer them to your web site.

You sort of put your life up there and it is your personality that comes thru.

People that are not interested in who you really are do not waste your time.

So the more real you on your site the better. No pretend, just the real you.

If you meet someone at the grocery and have a conversation about "how to tell which is a good watermelon". Say it was nice talking to you, hand them your business card (you made on your computer) that has your web address as well as phone number. Say, look me up on the web, maybe we can talk some more.

Have a conversation on chat on the web with someone interesting...? Give them your web address with a get back to me.

Response on a dating site referred to your web site is far better then have to go thru all this for each person. Just send them to your web site and they get to know you far better then a zillion chats back and forth.

Maybe someone you were interested in is tied up in a relationship right now, but thinks you are something special and knows someone that would be just your type. Have that person send them to your web site and contact you.

Now about making your web site and cost. Geocities and others will provide a web site for you for free but stick an ad on it. Geocities is part of Yahoo.

Usually, your internet provider will provide one web site for free with your subscription. Ask them.

With Geocities, you do not need a paid for web address. You get a unique address but not of your choosing.

Your internet provider may require your own URL web listing. This usually costs around ten to $15 a year. Sometimes you can even get "your name.com". Who every you post with will supply you the information.

Also most will show or send you to a page that shows you how to do it. Usually you can learn to make a simple page in an hour or two. Then expand it over time as you learn more. You will find it fun.

More about this http://www.datingagain101.com/personalpages.html The personal pages at the bottom are old and may be defunct, here is one that works. If you are an aol subscriber this is the type of address you get. http://members.aol.com/chelsearose100/

Here is the latest on email being obsolete. http://www.datingagain101.com/personalpages.html

Here is a personal page that according to her counter has had over 60 thousand visitors. http://www.orchidlady.com/linda.html

Here is one from a guy who has had 40 thousand visitors. http://www.skirtman.org/

You can find many examples for ideas.

Short cut...If you want to know what yours will look like ahead of time. If you find one you like the layout you can copy "source code" and just change the words, colors and pictures. etc. Do not feel guilty...You would be flattered if someone copies your page lay out.

Regards,
Harlan Jacobsen
605 376-4125 Cell phone

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Dating Again Newsletter #45, 10/08/05

Harlan Jacobsen, publisher has asked guest author, Lisa Daily, to fill in for him this month because of time constraints of a new major web site under construction and a new newspaper out in November.

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Relationship Quiz: How to Tell If He's Really Interested
By Lisa Daily


How can you tell if that guy you've been dating is actually falling for you or just fooling around? Six simple questions will tell you all you need to know.

1) When does he usually call you for a Saturday night date?

a) Two weeks in advance
b) Usually by Wednesday or Thursday
c) The day before
d) 10 minutes before he shows up

a) Twice a day
b) 3-7 Times a week
c) Once a week
d) 10 minutes before he shows up

a) Every day
b) Two or three times a week
c) Two or three times a month
d) Once a month or less

a) Huh?
b) I never call him, or I return his calls occasionally
c) I call him a couple times a week
d) I call him every day

a) I have no idea
b) It wouldn't change a bit - he's doing most of the pursuing.
c) It would slow down considerably - I'd probably see him half as much.
d) Goodbye relationship, hello Häagen Dazs. He doesn't do much pursuing, so if I stopped calling and making dates, I'd probably would never see him again.

a) He always pays
b) He usually pays, but I offer sometimes
c) We usually split the check
d) I usually pay for the date

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Dating Again Newsletter #44, 09/5/05

Lisa Daily, Dream Girl and author of Stop Getting Dumped!
All you need to know to make men fall madly in love with you and marry 'The One' in 3 years or less.
"This chick really knows what she's talking about!"
--Howard Stern
As seen in/on Cosmopolitan, Mens Health and HITCH: On The Set Available at http://www.stopgettingdumped.com and bookstores everywhere

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(C) Copyright 2005, by Lisa Daily. All rights reserved.
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6 Secrets To Meet More Dates Online
By Lisa Daily

By now you know that online dating is by far the most popular and easiest way to meet someone fabulous. And even if you work the swing shift, only date junk food addicts or are looking for someone who shares your adoration of Desperate Housewives and Sex Inspectors, it's easier than ever to find your perfect match. Not having as much luck as you'd like? Lucky for you, upping your odds of finding your dream date online is as easy as microwaving a bag of popcorn - just follow these 6 simple tips:

1) Post a photo, even if you think you look like Quasimoto The first thing you should know is that profiles with photos get eight times the response. Why? Nobody, but nobody, wants to end up with whatever is lurking behind door number three. Here's an interesting little factoid from Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner, authors of Freakonomics (William Morrow, 2005): "A low-income, poorly-educated, unhappily employed, not-very-attractive slightly overweight and balding man who posts his photo stands a better chance at gleaning some emails than a man who says he makes $200,000 a year and is deadly handsome but doesn't post a photo." The lesson? Post a photo - even if it's a quickie that you intend to take down later and replace with something else. Don't wait until you lose twenty pounds. Don't wait until the Rogaine kicks! in. Post your photo today - even if it's not perfect, it's sure a lot better than nothing.

2) The absolute best thing you can say on your profile While it's important not to lie, it's also important to know what's working for you:

According to Freakonomics,
The biggest advantages a man can have? High income.
The biggest advantages a woman can have? Beauty. And blonde hair.

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ON GETTING MARRIED AGAIN....101

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All marriages are "happy". It is right after the ceremony the problems start.
   Anon

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Getting married again is a very serious subject with many newly singled. There are a great variety of attitudes about the subject and today I want to discuss what came up on the subject in the classes I conducted for ten years on recovering from a divorce, widowhood, or loss of a long term relationship by whatever means and how getting married again fits with getting back into dating again.

There are a variety of different attitudes about the subject of getting married again, which if you have not already done so, will discover when you get back into dating again. Some will be in a frenzied quest to get married again at the earliest moment, and others badly burned (emotional and/or financial) in the process of coming apart from their last marriage will swear to never ever consider getting married again for any reason.

Both will likely disguise their extreme position and pretend it does not exist so that they can improve their dating prospects.

You will likely have some position leaning one way or the other and you will be out there trying to sort the prospects out into the categories of either fitting your ideas on getting married again or not fitting your view and therefore either are a bonafide dating prospect for you or not.

Deciding according to whether their philosophy on getting married again fits, (agrees) with yours or not.

Many will withhold their true position and some will consider they wasted several "dates" before discovering their dating partner's real attitude on the subject.

First we will discuss the person that has become "suddenly single" and does not even want to admit they are single, they are just on "hold" between marriages.

They never "volunteered" for this being single business in the first place, they were "drafted".

They see themselves as "miserable" in this "single life" and are trying to shorten their sentence by conducting an all-out search to find a "ticket" out of here.

When they arrange a date with you it is primarily to find out if you are a potential ticket out.

If they uncover that they have no potential of working you into a frenzy and being "converted" to that, they drop you like a hot potato after the first date.

Their all encompassing goal is to get "married again" as soon as possible.

We tell you that any "idiot" can get married again. All you have to do is find someone of the opposite sex that has the same goal.... and BINGO,

It is almost certain that this marriage will not work out long term. Both had the goal of "getting married again".

They were excitedly "happy" at their good fortune in finding someone who would "marry" them, and validate them as a "desirable marriage prospect" person by doing so.

Their mutual goals were only to "be married" and they accomplished that goal..oh joy...

Their goal was never to be "happily married", only to be "married" and they accomplished that.

But, it turns out they had little in common other then this burning desire to be "married" again and be rescued from their damnation sentence of "being single" and on their own.

and.......after months of trying to "make it work" they split.

Muttering, I am still in love with marriage, there is nothing wrong with "marriage" it is that I just keep picking the "wrong person".

So......they buy a wash and wear wedding gown and just "keep trying".

Never mind the evidence that this is not working.

They have basically established self programming that says "I have to be married to be happy".

They have accepted this as a truth and now that has become an established part of their programming.

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I HAVE TO BE MARRIED TO BE INVOLVED WITH SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS...
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This is not too prevalent any more, but still is in the picture.

The programming is, "I have to be married to be involved in any sexual relationship."

What happens here is that every time they get "in heat" they run out and get married.

This results in their getting married a lot.

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MARRIAGE IS OUT, COMMITMENT IS OUT

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This happens a lot more then most people want to admit.

There are those who rationally take out a pencil and judging from their last experience, figure up the financial risk of getting m