- Enjoy Your New Found
Freedom
Look
Forward To Great New Romances and Relationships
Since that last article on adult dating tips and advice
(Part I) you should have been working the
system and looking and thinking attractive. You should look
forward to having what you may not have had before your marriage
- a series of maturing love affairs.
As an adult, maybe for the
first time In your life you can go with whom you want, when
you want and go where you want.
For those of you who are divorced, this issue we have good
news for you and bad news.
First, here's the good news.
Statistically it has been shown that a divorced
person has a better chance of being remarried (If that's what you
want) than a person the same age who has never been married, and even a
slightly better chance than one whose marriage was ended by death.
For example, 99% of men divorced at age 25 remarry, compared to 93%
of still single men, and 97% of widowers.
For women, it was 99%, 88% and 93%, respectively.
The chance declines with age, but the decline is slower for the
divorced.
You see, the divorced are
the marrying kind.
And now the bad news.
Unless you are ready to happen to somebody, no
"somebody" will happen to you.
If you are an uptight, strung out, belly down introvert, you are
going to have to change your ways.
The old expression, "The bee
that gets the honey does not hang around the hive," applies here.
Don't sit home and brood.
Get out of the house and change your mood. Do go
alone.
Don't wait to meet someone as alone and unhappy as you.
Be friendly to everyone,
do not wait for the other person to make the overtures. Our adult
dating tips and advice keeps it simple.
Simply ask questions.
(Did you get that? You simply ask questions.)
However, do not be a friendly puppy and run off with anyone who
whistles.
There are millions of interesting people around, who
are just as eager to meet you as you are to meet them.
if you are not succeeding in meeting new
people, it's your own fault.
You have to go where they are and make it easy for them to meet you
when you get there. If you go to the right places, you have to be hopelessly incompetent not to make at least one catch in a well stocked
pond.
THE DATING GAME
Let's define the "dating game."
"Game" is a procedure for gaining an end, or "an amusement or
pastime." In other words,
you are looking to gain a mate and have a lot of fun along the
way.
You can't lose. You just keep playing
until you win.
However, you want to win before the game becomes boring, so the way
you play is important.
Rule #1: Play no tricks. (No
manipulations.)
Rule #2: Be yourself. It is
difficult for others to like people who do not like themselves.
Seek out the ones who like the real you. If the real
you isn't too appealing, we may have to make a few changes (no
fakery).
Rule #3: Be approachable.
Traditionally women just had to say "Yes" or "No," while the man had to
show an interest and risk a "put down."
Thus he's putting his ego on the block every time he asks for a dance
or a date. Now if he has even a slight amount of
encouragement, he Is more likely to risk it. Be available but
don't announce your availability.
Do not be an "All men are on the make" cynic. Men are not eager to
battle with women; if you make him feel like an enemy he will retreat
every time.
Rule #4: Be entertaining. A
person who spends their time (and maybe money) dating you is entitled to
receive something in return.
The pleasure of your company is enough if your
company is a pleasure.
Show enthusiasm and be exciting in some
way.
GO FISHING IN A WELL-STOCKED
POND
Rule #5: Be attentive. Listen and think about what they are
saying, ask appropriate questions.
Look at that person, not everyone else who walks by.
Concentrate everything on the one you're with, It
makes them feel important and who can resist that?
Rule #6: Don't break dates. Generally folks feel that people
break dates for just one reason - they'd rather do something else.
Change dates, but do not cancel them.
If someone calls
you at the last minute to ask you out, It doesn't mean they've reached
the bottom of a long list.
It usually means they've just learned they're free for the evening.
Some feel they can't predict what they will be in the mood for
several days away.
Be willing to try anything, any time. Only people
unsure of themselves are insulted by a last minute date.
In this dating game, you are guaranteed to win eventually.
You will undoubtedly have to
change partners a few times before you do - that's really part of the
game.
Playing with the same partner all the time
offers no basis for comparison.
Try out a variety before you settle on one for life.
Some partners will quit before you have lined up another.
Your enjoyment in single life
will be dependent on your ability to line up a new partner
shortly.
To start over, make your last one final - a clean break.
Be realistic - your life isn't ruined.
The replacement may far surpass the last
one.
It hurts, but you grow as a person with each one
Read Part 1, "How to get Started"
Read Part 3, "Practice Dating Again as an Adult"
Tips and Adult Dating Advice
Can Make the Difference
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